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  “Just breathe through your mouth,” I told Jason and Jessica.

  “I’m afraid I might taste it,” Jason said.

  Jessica and I started laughing like crazy.

  Once the stones were cleared away I returned to my station behind the counter. After a few minutes I noticed Jason was still spraying.

  “Knock it off!” I shouted. “Now it smells like lemons and ass in here!”

  Jason roared with laughter, and I heard Jessica’s giggle from the back.

  As Jason joined me behind the counter I asked him: “Do you remember what it was like before you took your human form? When you were in that purgatory you guys talk about?”

  “No.” Jason shook his head. “Some of the incarnates remember, some don’t. I only know what others have told me. They say it’s like nothingness. You know like…that you exist but you don’t have a form.” He furrowed his brow. “I heard one of the born knowings say you can see the whole universe at the same time. Almost as if you were everywhere at once and nowhere at all, both at the same time. Once you decide where you want to go, you’re born.” He quieted, then whispered: “Sounds like hippy bullshit to me, but whatever it is, I went through it and will do it again.”

  “Humans don’t have a choice,” I said, as if reciting a truism. “They are automatically reborn in another human body.”

  “Yeah,” said Jessica as she emerged from an aisle. “They don’t know what hit them. Just bam! They’re dead, and the next second they’re born.” She looked at the portable DVD player. “Your movie is over.” She turned the power off.

  Jason detected a scent and frowned. “Fucking trolls. This place is going to stink for a week.”

  He was right. Nobody liked trolls. In the pecking order of our world trolls were at the bottom.

  Jessica shuffled through the CDs and picked one by The Used. The girl with the strange aura had worn a Used hoodie. What did her music collection look like? A stupid thought. My mind seemed to linger on her more and more. What made her choose Earth? Was it her decision? And what could she be?

  Chapter 5

  FAILING GRAVITY

  The next day was Wednesday. I was anxious to see the girl again. I hoped she would come back but I didn’t want Jason to know that. Jessica called and said she wouldn’t be in. Jason was in and out, stalking back and forth like a tiger between the apartment and the store.

  We’d just had a dusting of snow when I saw Chris coming across the parking lot carrying a flat rectangular box.

  Once he got in the door Chris came straight to the counter and laid the box down.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “Jason come over here,” Chris called.

  Jason came from the back where he’d been rearranging books.

  Chris took the top off of the box. “Your gun came in.” He grinned at Jason.

  “Oh! Fuck yeah!” Jason picked up the enormous weapon.

  “Holy Shit Jason!” I said. “Are you trying to overcompensate for something?”

  “Desert Eagle 500,” Chris said, beaming down at it.

  Jason unzipped his hoodie, pulled out the .45 Glock that he kept in his shoulder holster, and replaced it with his new toy. He walked back to the apartment smiling ear-to-ear.

  “I picked something up for you too,” Chris said. He reached inside his coat, pulled out a shoulder holster, and handed it to me.

  “Wow man. Thanks!” I said.

  I stripped off my hoodie, put the holster on, then pulled my Colt .45 from under the counter. It fit perfectly. As I was pulling my hoodie down over the holstered gun Jason reappeared, bouncing down the aisles, crowing: “Oh hell yeah! This is fucking awesome!” Chris laughed at him. Jason came around the corner, drew the gun, and pointed it at my head.

  “Jason! Put that shit away!” I shouted.

  Jason just laughed. He held the gun up, examining it.

  “Oh! I almost forgot.” Chris pulled something black from his pocket and tossed it at me.

  I caught it in midair, opened my hand, and saw a silencer. “Chris! Holy…How did you get this?”

  He smirked. “I have my ways.”

  Working well below the edge of the counter where no one could see, I started fitting the silencer onto my gun.

  “It will fit.” Chris assured me.

  Once I saw he was right I took the silencer back off and slipped it in the pocket of my sweatshirt. I watched as Jason kept practicing his quick draw.

  “Jason,” I said, “Cut that shit out before a customer comes in.” Then I turned to Chris. “For real dude, this is the coolest shit ever. Pick out as many CDs as you want no charge.”

  Chris spent an hour in the CD racks. When he left I assured him that we were still on for going to the firing range.

  Having a gun close under my hoodie gave me a feeling of comfort and power—like I could take care of whatever came up. With all the weird stuff happening with the Quatre, I felt I needed that. Who knew what kind of crap they might pull. What if they learned that Jessica had caught on to something? Now I had protection that went beyond my normal vampire powers. I wanted to try out the silencer as soon as I possibly could.

  Later on an angel incarnate came in looking for Jessica. Angel incarnates could restore life to the dying, heal the sick, or impose a calming effect on anyone nearby. This one’s golden aura flowed from his mouth as he spoke, and I felt the soothing reach of his powers. I didn’t like it, preferring my normal state of mind.

  Though he was immortal like me. I envied his luck. Angels went through life absent any fear of death, and without all the crazy diet restrictions that we vampires had to endure. True, to exercise their powers they had to give up a small bit of their lives, but when they did no one hated them for it.

  Demons were the exact opposite. They could influence humans to do evil, and they could steal someone’s life, adding it to theirs. Angels and demons did not shift or grow old. Their bodies and facial features constantly evolved. They were as old as the earth, and could tell you from firsthand experience that Darwin’s theory was almost entirely correct. Their strength was near that of vampires and werewolves, but it was not the same kind of strength. Though we vampires were considered to be leeches on society, we were also stronger, faster, and quicker to heal. We would always be near the top of the chain of command.

  Chris’s gift and the distraction of the angel made me forget what day it was. When it struck me, I wondered if the girl with the strange aura would show. Why be so nervous about it? I wondered. What does it matter?

  My mind careened back and forth between hopeful expectation and my attempt to not even care. Then I noticed that my hands were starting to tremble. It was about a half hour till closing time. As the winter sun set early I relished the darkness, but this only made me want to see her more.

  My mind picked at my memory of her as if it were a scab. What was she? The question gnawed at my thoughts, along with a feeling I couldn’t fathom—I wanted to see her because I wanted to touch her. I was physically attracted to her in a way that made little sense to me.

  Jason’s music had been droning on all day. Finally, I decided to change the CD. I chose a mixed CD that I had created. I was hoping that a bunch of familiar favorites would take my mind off her. Though the first song from Muse got my head bobbing, it failed to erase the girl from my thoughts.

  Every time a car pulled up outside my heart raced a little faster, but it was never her. Most of the drivers were heading for the coffee shop next door.

  I watched as two guys from the tattoo parlor did skateboard tricks until they both grew tired and cold. With the sun gone, I removed my dark glasses. I looked across at Chris’s window and saw him at his counter, eyeing a small screen TV.

  Jason appeared, grinning. “You really do have it bad for her, don’t you?”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, busying myself, straightening up the counter area.

  “All day you’ve been watching and waiting for that girl.
Maybe you like her a lot more than you let on.” Jason didn’t take his eyes off my face. I didn’t look at him. If I’d been able to blush I would have. Nothing could have embarrassed me more than the weakness of personal affection, not after the things I’d done and seen.

  “What’s it to you?” I ran my fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face. I tried to look stern.

  “I just like to give you a hard time,” he said, smiling.

  “Yeah, you and Chris both.”

  He stood up straight and stared out the window. I dug through some CDs, searching for a Marilyn Manson album.

  “Hey look your girlfriend is here,” Jason said.

  I looked up just in time to see the front door open. The bell rang. It was her.

  I tried to act smooth and composed, but my heart was beating too fast. I controlled my breathing, and felt Jason’s stare. As I put a CD on the tray my hands started shaking. I pressed “play.” Finally I had the courage to look up at her.

  Her dress and demeanor were the same as they had been, but the red in her aura burned bright today. Maybe she was close to knowing. Her aura extended at least a foot all around her. She kept her head down and her eyes to the floor. She walked to the counter, stopped, and shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets.

  “Um, hi. I…uh…was in here a couple of days ago…um” Her eyes flickered upward and she was looking at me. She glanced toward Jason, then down again.

  “Yes,” I said, “I remember you. You came back for the books.” I tried not to sound bitter, hopeful, or eager. All I wanted was to keep my voice even, and to ignore Jason’s perpetual smirk. I knew it was there without even looking.

  The girl blushed deep red. Her aura looked solid enough to touch. What was wrong with me? I’d never felt this way toward anyone. I had to know what this girl was before it drove me insane. My chest felt tight, and my stomach seemed to be sinking.

  “They’re back there,” I said. “I can show you if you’d like.”

  She looked up at me, nodded, then nervously glanced about. I led her through the crowded aisles to the area in back where the born knowing met. We had the books on one side of us, and the herbs, incense, and witchcraft paraphernalia on the other. The smell of the herbs was overpowering. I took her to the shelf.

  “Right here. This is where we stock new arrivals. We have two new ones about reincarnation and old souls. That is what you are interested in right?” I looked at her as her eyes skimmed across the titles. From this angle I could admire her profile. She had an elegant look. Her thin nose was the perfect complement to her slender features. Her lips were full but not overdone. She wore no makeup.

  “Thanks.” As she reached for one of the books on the top shelf, I noticed the tattoos. It seemed odd that such a shy girl would have any tattoos. After all, they

  draw attention, and the rest of her look and manner seemed calculated to keep her anonymous. But there it was: letters tattooed on her knuckles. She was leafing through a book, so I couldn’t quite catch what the tattoos said.

  She was shaky, and a sheen of sweat covered her forehead. Was I making her nervous? Should I walk away? I couldn’t bring myself to leave her. I just kept staring. She must’ve been wondering exactly what kind of freak I was. My chest tightened. I had to say something.

  “Uh, you know, a group meets here on the weekends to discuss the things you’re reading about. I’m sure they would be glad to have you. Actually…uh…I go to all the meetings. I live in back of the store.” I pointed to the door that led to our apartment. Why was I telling her that? I felt so awkward.

  “Ok.” She blushed again and looked at the floor. Her book was still open.

  “I’m sorry.” I extended my right hand. “My name is Verloren Fagan. My friends and I own the store.”

  She extended her trembling right hand. When our hands touched, I felt the pulse, and saw a flash of images. All of this sensory stimulation happened too quickly for me to keep up, but the last image stayed with me: the child fairy, Sara with something on her hands. Then I lost it.

  It occurred to me that Jessica hadn’t mentioned these flashes. Was she hiding that from me? I looked at the girl. She stared at our hands, her breath short, and her eyes widening. Slowly she looked up at me. The pull was as strong as gravity. I felt as if I might fall into her. I had to lean back.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  Her eyelids fluttered and she looked at our hands. Finally she introduced herself. “Uh…Ash Nicely.”

  “Ash Nicely,” I said, recovering enough composure to speak. “How unusual. Is that your given name?” I felt the pull deep in my chest. .

  “It’s Ashley, but I go by Ash,” she said. “I’m a big fan of scary movies. ‘Evil Dead’ is one of my faves.” She smiled shyly. We kept looking at each other’s hands.

  Her aura was thickening, spreading. Finally I saw the letters tattooed on her fingers. I turned her right hand up to read the letters on the knuckles. My white skin looked hideous next to hers.

  “Vamp...” I said with a dumbfounded look on my face for sure.

  “…ires,” she said.

  “Huh?”

  “Vampires,” she said.

  If there’d been any color in my face, it would’ve drained out then. I was still holding her hand. My trembling returned.

  She put the book under her arm, held both of her hands out, showing the full word across all eight knuckles: V-A-M-P-I-R-E-S.

  “Big scary movie fan.” She lowered her hands, then grasped the book.

  In the background Marilyn Manson sang “If I was your vampire…” I laughed out loud.

  “How ironic?” I said. When I saw her puzzled look, I added: “I…I…mean that song and your tattoo.”

  “Oh. Yeah. That’s a great CD.”

  I heard Jason. “Ah man, not again!”

  Then the smell hit me. Troll! Not now! Surely Ash would smell it! The odor wouldn’t be as strong to her because she didn’t know what she was yet. Self-awareness adds an edge to our perceptions.

  And here came Patti, walking up the aisle toward us. Patti knew that the girl was still human, and counted on that fact to protect her from any manhandling I had in mind. She stopped in front of me, put her hand on her hip, and said: “Hey, Verloren I need a little help finding a book.”

  My breathing grew rapid and shallow. Patti was enjoying this. I glared at her. It took everything in me not to kill her right there. I held my breath and clenched my jaw. “Why don’t you have Jason help you, Patti?”

  “He looked a little busy so I thought I would ask you.”

  “I’m kinda busy right now too.”

  “I see. Too busy for me,” she said.

  I turned to Ash. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”

  Ash nodded. She glanced at Patti, scrunched her eyebrows together, and held her breath.

  I grabbed Patti’s wrist and pulled her down the aisle with as little commotion as possible. When we were far enough away I swung Patti around roughly in front of me, and hissed: “What the fuck do you think you are doing? I told you to stay out. Now get the fuck out of my store and if I ever catch you in here again I will send you to the next world. Do you understand?”

  She stared stupidly at me.

  “Let me be as clear as crystal. If I see you in here again, I will kill you.” I pointed to the door. “Now get out.”

  She smiled at me. Then turned and walked to the front of the store. She waved at Jason, calling, “Bye Jason see ya later.” Then she left.

  I heard Jason grumble. “Fucking bitch. Where’s the air freshener?”

  I walked back to Ash. She looked at me then back to the book. She’d smelled the troll. “I don’t want to be rude,” she said, “but your friend…”

  “She stinks,” I blurted.

  She laughed, covering her mouth. “Sorry.”

  “No it’s all right. She’s not a friend. More of a nuisance.”

  I wanted her to know. I wanted her to find out what she was.
I wanted her to be in my life. If the Quatre wouldn’t let me be with her, I wanted at least to be around her. I couldn’t understand this attraction, but I knew what I wanted. I would help her learn about herself, then she might learn who I was without being shocked by it. That was my hope.

  I looked up at the shelves and recalled what we’d been saying before the Troll arrived. “Uh, like I was saying if you are interested in those workshops, they hold them here every weekend. You are more than welcome to attend.”

  “Sure I’d like that.” Her eyes met mine—magnet to metal.

  “How bout I take your book and ring it up,” I said. “We have some brochures up there with all the information. They have the dates and times.” She walked in front. I followed, inhaling her scent. She was still human. It made my mouth water.

  That’s when I had noticed the music had stopped. I looked over at the stereo; Jason was messing with it. He looked at me with a devious smile. I shook my head at him. I was about to say something when the music started up again. A dramatic love song. Jason cranked up the volume. He turned, tilted his head back, put a hand on his chest, extending the other toward Ash, then he sang as badly and loudly as he could. I growled. Jason got out of my way. He laughed as I shut it off, then disappeared down an aisle.

  I turned to Ash, and found that she was blushing and giggling. She watched me as she covered her mouth. Her laughter stopped. We stared at each other.

  Finally I broke the tension, “Sorry about that. Jason can be a goofball.” We could still hear his faint voice singing the love song.

  When we finally reached the counter, I gave her the brochures. I looked at the clock. “I hope you don’t mind, but it’s closing time,” I said. “I should lock up when you leave. I’ll follow you to the door.” The pull of her scent and her aura were almost too much for me. I wanted to grab her and pull her close. I wanted to preserve her scent. I blinked and shook my head trying to snap out of this bizarre trance.

  When we reached the door I raced ahead and held it open for her.

  “See you Saturday,” she said, waving the flyer. She gave me a bashful smile, and headed for her car.